I Have a Pull Chain in my Head

Well I managed to last over a week (since the election), but the depression has finally set in. No higher ground for me, although I haven't given up wishing for it. But at this very moment I can't avoid the feeling that the world is an insane asylum and that there are only inmates here...no one is running this show. (And being up and tired at 3 am doesn't help my outlook any.)

I'd love to howl at the world, but where to begin? And who's really listening? I'm as guilty of the last one as anyone, which makes it all-the-more disheartening. There really is no chance for broader communication among humans. No amount of history seems able to teach us anything, so why should any length of conversation succeed where generations of bloodshed fail?

What would I howl about? Pollution. Violence. Waste. Religion as mental illness. Child Abuse. The sh*t-ass way you lame wads drive and the giant pieces of gas-guzzling crap that you drive. Pig Ignorance. The foolishness of posting a blog entry when one is tired and depressed. Ad nauseum and ad infinitum.

And to all you optimists out there I have one thing to say: Don't ever study history. Stay as far away from it as you can because you don't want to see the patterns. They'll ruin you. Just keep fighting the good fight.

I think what frustrates me most is that I can't let go and move on. I'm convinced humanity has no real future, just a steady repetition of our past failures played out with new background scenery. But I haven't been able to take that feeling and use it to free myself to act in the 'now'. To go for whatever gusto I can grab while my chance to grab is good.

Guess it's time to give myself permission to give up.